Living without sight is a scary way to live. Nearly everything that sighted folks do easily can hurt someone who is blind. Just walking around the house is a risky proposition, especially when you have an older yellow lab mix that likes to be a speed bump in your standard walking areas of the house. Cooking in the kitchen alone is a real test of intestinal fortitude. Don’t even get me started on how scary driving is. I am kidding about driving, although I did get behind the wheel of a utility vehicle out in the middle of nowhere last week and took it for a spin, with a copilot of course.

With all of this in mind, I have to wake up every day and decide to face the fear and overcome it as much as possible. I will not lie, I do not always overcome it. There are many times where I just give up or never attempt something, because I am scared. This fear is normal and rational, but I also have to admit that I am sometimes scared of failing more than any fear of actually hurting myself. It is a lot to carry around and is one of my least favorite parts of this life that I have.

Sometimes, maybe even a lot of time, I conquer the fear and do the hard things. One such example is something that I did on the trip that I mentioned earlier. It was not the driving, although that is a cool thing for a blind guy to get to do. A special shout out to my co-pilot and close friend, Gary. The scary thing was standing at the edge of a ledge, 30 feet above a natural spring in New Mexico called The Blue Hole. I was the last of our family and friend group, that had intentions of jumping, to go up there. My amazing cheerleader and wife guided me to the edge and then stepped back. I took a second, rubbed my face with my hands, took a deep breath and jumped out as far as I could. I am sure that people might be surprised that I would jump at all. I am not an adventurous soul by nature. But, I am a brave one, sometimes. I knew I would regret not doing it and with my wife’s encouragement, that was all I needed.

The actual jump and subsequent fall, was not all that scary actually. The water was frigid though and that really was a shock to the system. The place where we were is a natural cold water spring that is 81 feet deep and with temperature of 61 degrees, year round. It definitely took my breath for a few seconds.But, when I made my way to the stairs and got out, with help from the great Nate, my wife and kids both told me they were proud of me. And that, along with conquering the scary thing, made it all worth it.

I will strive to keep doing those scary things, both the big ones and mundane. Because this life is not easy nor safe, but I have to believe that I was built for this.